


From Adam

by HALLElujahaha



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 06:00:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10803189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HALLElujahaha/pseuds/HALLElujahaha
Summary: Adam has some feelings that he can't quite tell Ronan. Or anyone.





	From Adam

Ronan, I have been working to get out since I first learned how to walk. I was always wanting to go far away and never look back, leave it all in the lonely, lingering dust. But then, last Tuesday, you sat on the back porch of your father’s property in the dark. A far away light post lit up your silhouette as you leaned your head back onto the pillar behind you, doing that breathy laugh you always do when you’re tired, and I forgot I ever wanted to leave. I forgot everything I had ever planned and instead thought about future Sundays spent on that porch. Spent with your silhouette.

Ronan, if I asked you to draw me, would you do it? Would you paint my proud thumbs, my bold eyebrows, the birthmark below my left eye? Would it help me see the way that you see me? Ronan, show me how you view my imperfections.

Ronan, you once told me, drunk and depressed, that your art was the closest thing you had to a soul. Would I be welcomed, admired, completed?

Ronan, I am always watching for an exit, a way out, an escape. Whether it’s a door, or a stairway, or a lie. I always end up looking for you.

Ronan, I wake up to the sound of your soft snores on my bedroom floor. A want fizzes in my stomach, that is persistent and always present at 4 am as you sleep soundly on my pillow. It is getting harder and harder to ignore.

Ronan, you once told me to never run away without you, and your eyes almost looked pleading. So I told you, never. I could never do anything without you. And you said bullshit, you can do anything. And I swear, you almost kissed me. I think I almost let you.

Ronan, you do not own me. You do not have my heart, or center around my thoughts. But you are my lazy Sunday feeling. You are my racing heartbeat and my flushed face.

Ronan, you are my reason for coming back.

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